Music, Life, Stuff...

I want to thank everyone who has been so compassionate during this difficult time in my families life. It's definitely going to be and has been a very tough year but I'm positive that my brother is living on and his spirit protects me. Though it has been an overwhelming time in my life, I have found comfort in writing music and playing. I decided to take a break from performing for the summer for a couple of reasons. A. My husband and I just bought a house and will be in the midst of moving and settling into a new area. B. I need to heal and I need time to put things in perspective, do a little soul searching which I think will most definitely bring some art out of me and into your ears :) There is nothing you can say to someone who has lost someone close to them that makes them feel better. There is nothing you can do but so many people let me know that we were in their thoughts and that Corey was in their prayers and it really makes a difference. I can't even begin to unfold my brothers mind. He was so clever, funny, charming. If I were God, I'd want him to. I'm so honored that I got to be his sister. I hope he hears me. I know I'll never find another musician who could fill his shoes...we just had this tight bond where anything he played complimented and enriched what I was playing and vice versa. I've gone through a roller coaster of emotions and unfortunately the days are not getting easier without him. I have peaceful moments and I have moments I cannot bear. I would do anything for him to come back and play a tune with me! Until I can play with him again, I do plan to play his music and our music out again and record. Life has never been hard until now. Music has never been so easy. It flows like a river out of me and sometimes I just know Corey is playing right through me. I've been able to do things in the last month on guitar that he tried to show me countless times with complete ease. I never thought I could play again but now I know that it's the only thing I'll ever do again.

Corey, The words "I miss you" seem so redundant but I just do. I miss seeing your face and messin' up your hair. I miss you pulling my bandana off my head and me freaking out! I miss being startled and screaming when you'd jump out from behind a door. I miss hearing you gently play guitar. I miss how when I still lived at home, we'd hang out in my room, watching movies and playing guitar. I miss all your funny faces. I miss you showing me how to play a song. I miss showing you too. I miss your voice & your laugh. I miss you, Lauren, Steve and I chillun' at our place. I miss having someone in the world I could relate to on that level. I miss you tickling the hell out of me until I couldn't breathe. I miss you making me listen to music you liked in my car. I miss arguing over the front seat in dad's car. I miss you coming to me for advice & I miss giving it to you. I miss seeing your phone number on the caller ID. I miss "made". I miss everyday and every night I ever got to know, love and be around you. I miss you. Love, your big sis