Sunshine, piano tuned and feeling oh so good 

I have been waiting for this day for so long! I finally had my piano tuned today and it sounds so refreshing. I have a great keyboard but nothing compares to the warm, rich, big sound of my piano. I can finally make some videos using the piano instead of the keyboard and I am stoked. This past weekend was such a breath of fresh air...literally. I spent much of my time outside with family, friends and I so enjoy being in nature (my happy place). I was in need of some weather in the 70's! My husband, daughter and I spent some time at my in laws (outside of course)...their property is gorgeous and Gracie had a ball exploring and being creative with sticks, leaves, rocks, etc. I did not play any music this weekend but the time spent outdoors was what my soul was craving. And I had a lot of fun with my Grace which was so needed. Homeschooling has been challenging so just being together with nothing to HAVE TO DO was awesome. I am getting back to work this week on cover songs and some newer original music. I keep getting messages from folks asking me about new songs I made video's for recently and I am answering questions here in my blog until my podcast is ready to go. 


Question # 1: (from Jessica)

"I can't stop listening to Swim Through Me. I am really relating to it and was wondering what you were thinking about when you wrote it."

Hi Jessica! Thank you for your message. And thank you so much for your support. I am glad you like the song Swim Through Me. This song is kind of personal but I will tell you it is about aspects of my relationship with my husband, how I have approached motherhood and putting myself on the back burner while I juggled family life. I actually wrote the song with Steven and it's my new favorite! Glad you're enjoying it too : )

Question #2 (from Jordan)

"Are you going to record Rise with your trio? It's such a sexy song. Did you write it about your bass player, haha?"

Hi there Jordan! I am cracking up...we have played it a few times and have a super rough recording of us jamming on it from last year. No, I did not write it about my bass player. The song is not written about me. It was inspired by a friend of mine who had an on and off relationship with someone. My life is amazing, don't get me wrong, BUT I have to draw on other's for inspiration because I get bored writing about myself or things that are going on in my life! I do hope to record it with the band in the near future. I'll make sure to let you know when I write a tune about my sexy bass player ; ) 

Question #3 (from Lori)

"I am in love with your version of is this love. I've never heard it sung like that. How did you come up with it?"

Thank you Lori! I am so happy you liked my cover! Oh my goodness, my voice is definitely most at home in the way I sing this tune. I was a jazz vocal/guitar major in college and I used to sing jazz professionally so soul & jazz just fit for me. I have always loved the song and I drew on inspiration from my husband and our love story. I think thinking about him when I was singing it helped me get in the spirit of the lyrics, ya know? I don't sing love songs often but when I do, my best friend is front and center in my mind and that is where the emotion comes from. 

Well, there you have it! Keep the questions coming and I'll keep the music coming! Stay safe, healthy, connected and I'll see ya on the other side...hopefully at a theater or small intimate show...there is light at the end of the tunnel...let it shine!

One curve ball at a time: Finding my way back to music 

I wrote this blog a little over two years. I was all "I'm gonna be brave" and "I'm going to be vulnerable" and "I'm going to let people in on the real Krista"...and then I got scared. I didn't post this blog because I was not ready to be so candid and the thought of posting it made me sick to my stomach. I've always been a private person. Sure, I write songs that are personal but singing and talking are two very different things for me. Plus, a song can be taken a lot of different ways. You never really know what a song is about unless you ask the songwriter. Anyway, I've decided to be brave today. I turned 40 this year and I am going to mark this off my bucket list: BE HONEST & BRAVE (check).


Life is so unpredictable. The first time I truly experienced life's curve ball was when my brother Corey passed away. Life has never been quite the same since I got that 3am phone call. As anyone who has suffered a major loss knows, life eventually goes on, not in the same way but after so many years you have your new normal. I find myself very lucky to have had music to delve into, it held me up when I wanted to stay down, it greatly helped me connect to my brother's spirit and to face my own grief. Though pain dulls with time, it never fully leaves. I can compare it to my piriformis syndrome, most days I can walk just fine but every now and then I limp or stumble when something aggravates it. So, that was my first real hard, gut wrenching curve ball.

My second curve ball was after I had my beautiful daughter Grace. The three weeks following Grace's debut in my world were blissful. I remember feeling overwhelmed with joy and love...oh my goodness, the love. I had never felt love like that. It was all encompassing, truly unconditional, tangible, comforting love. Three weeks later exhaustion set it. The compulsion to make sure she was breathing every five minutes instead of getting the rest I so needed took over and there was no turning back. I worried constantly. I could not sleep, no matter how hard I tried, I slowly declined. I was riddled with anxiety although I hadn't a clue that's what I was feeling at the time. I was nauseated 24/7, I felt scared and alone. It wasn't the kind of fear I'd felt in the past like times when I'd opened a show for a national artist or like the fear I'd feel going to get a hair cut (yes, bad haircuts scare me! Don't judge). It was the kind of fear you would feel if you were certain your baby was going to stop breathing and you were incapable of stopping it. My hormones were certainly playing tricks on me. Later I would come to find out I was suffering with post partum anxiety.

I had never felt anxiety on that level. I mean sure, I would get a little nervous here and there before I took to the stage but not always. My brother had bad anxiety. I never really understood it until I felt it myself. I was diagnosed with PPA and PPOCD. I went on zoloft for four months. I was obsessed with cleaning and keeping things perfect because everything felt out of control even though it wasn't. I was obsessed with something happening to Grace. I thought I was incapable of taking care of her even though I desperately wanted to. I was afraid to be alone with her and not for the fear of hurting her but for the FEAR period. That is what anxiety does, it paralyses you and tells you "You can't". Oddly enough, I did not have trouble bonding as I still felt the intense love for her. My family rallied. They came and helped with Grace and got me the help I needed. My PPA/PPOCD eventually became a thing of the past and I was so grateful. I'm still a bit of a neat freak though ; ) That might just be all the Virgo in my astrology chart!

Fast forward to 2017. Curve ball #3 My mother in law had a massive heart attack a few days after Christmas. She was in an induced coma as they tried to figure out what state her heart was in. It was bad. Seeing Steve in that kind of pain was really hard. She had emergency bypass and valve replacement surgery. We were warned that she may not have the same brain functionality when she woke up but we would have to wait and see. Talk about torture. Waiting is always the hardest part but seeing her in ICU with a breathing tube, hooked up to a million monitors was devastating. My mother in law is a strong woman and miraculously made it through that trauma. With much time, she healed. Around the same time, I was experiencing chest pains and dismissed them as sympathy pains.

Curve ball #4 I later came to find after months of dealing with breathing difficulties and chest pain that I had pulled my diaphraghm. Say what?!! I had suffered a great deal of anxiety until that point being put through a d-dimer test and others to try to diagnose the chest pain. And I was even told the pain was from my anxiety. Um, no, it was the other way around. You rely heavily on your diaphraghm to support your breath when singing. It was a hard blow. I sang to my daughter Every. Single. Night and I'm being told I cannot sing, I cannot exercise and that I can only walk slowly, VERY slowly. I was told it would take months (6-12) to fully recover. WTF. My diagnosis came on March 17, 2017 in the ER and I still struggle here and there but I'm mostly recovered. A slew of other things went down that year. By the end of July I was feeling tired, the kind of heavy, tired you feel in your bones. I didn't recognize myself. I felt my sense of humor and personality were far from me. I didn't have any interest in playing music, reading or even hanging at the pool with Grace (I took her anyway but I was not enjoying it the way I had previous summers). I couldn't really understand it, maybe I had lyme disease or epstein bar. It felt very physical. My husband suggested I was depressed. Depressed!!?? What? That's crazy. No, I am not depressed I told him and myself but as the weeks went on and my daily trips to gym were not helping since I coudn't do what I had done prior to the diaphraghm pull, I succumbed to the fact that I was infact depressed.

Curve ball #5 My depression held me back from enjoying ANYTHING & EVERYTHING. I journaled every single day and I started therapy with a new therapist who I instantly clicked with. It's important to note that I had not been playing much guitar other than to teach or do music therapy and this had unfortunately been going on since I had become a mom. I mean, yes, there were times I sat down and wrote an instrumental song (no lyrics) but the amount I got to do was nothing compared to what I was doing prior to becoming a parent.  I missed my voice but it didn't feel like I had one anymore. It was like my lyrical self had been completely silenced. I had zero contact with that part of myself. My therapist helped me understand that suppressing my interests and talents was not allowing me to be my best self. Holding onto creative energy and not releasing it can allow that energy to manifest into something negative (ahem, anxiety, depression). Music had been my way of not only expressing myself but dealing with stress almost my entire life. Although I had gotten used to my role as a mother and life without music, I was lost in the mix. Grace wasn't getting the best ME because I wasn't fully myself. I began to fit in playing wherever I could. By mid November I was back! The relief was a gift just in time for the holidays. 

Hello curve ball # 6 There was about a month over the holidays/new year and even past that time frame of my dad being in and out of the hospital and it was serious. I was scared. I was definitely having anxiety but it was manageable because I had been collecting all the important tools I needed to combat it over the past few months. My dad made it through sepsis among other things. Yes! Things were looking up.

Curveball # 7  I had felt something bulging from my lower abdomen since the summer but was depressed and unwilling to have it looked at. By January, I had really noticed it's size had grown and it was even more visible to the eye. My husband and mom were not happy with me having waited this long to go for the v-ultrasound that was ordered in October. Yes, I waited THAT LONG. I went on January 31st for my test. The next day I got the results in the patient portal. It was a large fibroid tumor on the subserosal part of my uterus. I had every symptom you can have but was living with them so long I didn't know they were related to the tumor. My pelvis was full and my stomach was bloated. I thought I was just gaining weight. I even thought I had IBS at one point. Nope. And OMG the back pain. I had pulled my quadratus lumborum October 23rd but this tumor was most certainly exacerbating the injury. My doctor referred me to my gynecologist. She explained that it was sitting on top of my uterus and that it was massive (the size of my uterus) and responsible for the pain I'd been living with. Those frequent bathroom trips made sense now! My uterus was putting pressure on my bladder because the tumor was putting pressure on my uterus. Due to the placement and size, it would have to be cut out. I was in shock because prior to that appt I had read up on these types of benign tumors and I was expecting laser surgery or something less invasive. I would basically be having a C section with a 4-6 week recovery. I was okay with that because even though it was really going to suck, it would have sucked more had it been malignant. I couldn't help but know why I instinctively waited to go for that ultrasound. Going through a major surgery while in the throws of depression could have really been a recipe for disaster. I was strong and back on my feet. I was happy and ready to face this challenge. That's not to say I was not nervous about the pain and being put under but I could handle it. And I had the support of my family and friends, what more could one ask for? I was feeling really grateful for my life, for my daughter, for my music (I had recently started jamming with friends and I was feeling inspired, kind of gitty). The surgery was a success but the tumor ended up being twice the size of my uterus with one of my fallopian tubes going right through it. The tube had to be taken out in order to have the tumor removed.

Curve ball #8 and quite possibly the scariest curve ball. Later that evening after the surgery I suffered a PSVT episode. Paroxysmal Supraventricular Tachycardia. I felt nauseated. My left arm started hurting and my arm and hand started tingling. The tingling then went to my right arm, then my feet, legs, torso, chin, was travelling up my face. I couldn't lift my arm and it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I felt completely panicked. I heard some code said over the loudspeaker and realized it was for me. They rushed my dad and Maria who were visiting at the time out of the room. The room filled with doctors and nurses. I started praying outloud, I was having a hard time catching my breath. I looked into the eyes of a nurse who was trying to start an IV and told her "Please, I have a 4 year old whom I love very much". They brought in a heart monitor and everyone was rushing around. I heard beeping and the looks on the nurses faces were the scariest expressions I'd seen. I'll never forget their faces. I heard someone say bring in the crash cart and I knew it was serious. I could feel it was serious but those words validated what I felt. One doctor started asking me if I had taken any blood thinners. I said no. He told me they had to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack because they would have to take me upstairs. They opened the front of my gown and quickly stuck me with EKG stickers...this was all happening very fast. I felt like I was in an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I heard the main doctor say heart rate 175, almost maximum heart rate, he instructed one of the nurses to administer a bag of this medicine. "This is going to make you feel strange" she said. More nurses came in. Whatever they gave me didn't do what it was supposed to. I focused on my yoga/meditation breathing and stared at the tv. I have no idea what I was looking at, I just knew I couldn't look at them because despite them telling me to try to stay calm and "we got this, you're going to see your daughter", their faces were serious and they looked scared. I didn't know what was happening either, only that my heart rate was almost maxed. A nurse told me my husband was there outside the room. I did not want to put him through a loss and most certainly did not want my parents to suffer another loss of a child. I was focused on my breathing and Grace and all the things I still wanted to write a song. I felt Corey in the room. I mean I REALLY felt him. The doctor said something about a flat line on the EKG. That was confusing b/c I was very much awake. They quickly administered another bag of medicine through the IV and slowly symptoms started to subside. I would later be told that medicine stops your heart so they can bring it back to a slower heart rate. They cheered. Someone said heart rate is stable at 120 (Corey's birthday is 1/20). The nurse said something about her 27 years of being a nurse in regards to this situation (Corey passed 2/27).

They let my dad, Maria and Steve come in the room. They were shaken and crying. They took me to ICU to monitor my heart and started me on beta blockers. I was told that the stress on my body from the surgery most likely prompted the episode. Fast forward through all the heart tests and the rest of my hospital stay, I am home and well. I'm off the beta blocker and my heart rate has been good. There was no serious harm done to my heart and for that I am grateful. I have PSVT and will have to follow up with cardiology once I'm recovered from this surgery for stress tests. Could all the anxiety I had dealt with in the past been the PSVT? Anxiety always felt like a racing feeling inside. You have increased heart rate with anxiety but you also have increased (on different levels) HR with PSVT and that can mimic anxiety or panic attacks. I don't know but I do know that I will treasure every single day, every single person I love and as soon as I am able, I will be back to my music.

You never know when a curve ball is coming your way. That's why they're called curve balls! Never leave anything unsaid, be brave and stand in your truth. But most of all, be grateful because every day is truly a gift. Thank you to my friends and family. I could not get through anything without your unconditional love. I am blessed.

Gracie's Story 

I have been thinking a lot about what I wanted to say in this blog since it's about the most life changing and special experience of my life. I did finally have my baby, one week late. We tried to have her earlier...well my body was trying very hard to have her earlier! I went into labor Tuesday September 3rd and we went to triage but they sent us home b/c I wasn't dilated enough. They told us to walk, eat spicy food etc etc. We did all these things and the contractions got more and more intense, five minutes apart then seven then three etc, they were all over the place. I was in pain Tues night, Weds night and Thursday night, not sleeping a wink as my body kept on contracting and I could barely breathe through them. All my hypnobirth practice was really being put to the test. We kept going back to the hospital. They sent us home 3 times. I was starting to get pissed. By Friday 9/6, my husband called and told them we're coming in and we're not leaving without a baby...the Dr. finally agreed ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. And so the journey began again but now in the hands of a midwife and some nurses I'd like to think of as angels on earth. They gave me pitocin to speed things up. And THANK THE LORD, it DID! I had been in painful labor for four days at this point so I opted for an epidural. There were problems with it. My blood pressure dropped and it got scary, they fixed it but unfortunately most of the numbness was in my left leg (which wasn't giving birth!) and so I felt what it was like to give natural birth anyway. I was kind of delirious since I hadn't slept in three days and Steve was also very tired and worn out. My mom, dad and Steve all sat with me as we waited through contractions for Grace to be ready to come into or lives. When the midwife said it was time to have a baby, I quickly got Steve to turn on my playlist I had put together. I've never gotten through anything in my life without music and this experience would be no different. The songs were in no particular order and very random genres and artists but all songs I felt would either inspire or calm me. I'm not going to go into all the details of giving birth. Let's say it's the hardest thing a woman's body will go through and the most amazing thing as well. Every mom know what I'm talking about. I asked the nurses how long on average do first time moms push and she said it could be up to 4 hours. I was like, "ugh, seriously, I don't have time for that, I'm exhausted, have been having contractions from hell for four days with no meds and no sleep. I simply cannot push for four hours!!" Steve turned on my playlist, it started out with Romance in Eb then onto some of my other favorite classical piano pieces like Claire de Lune & Vocalise, plenty of Chopin...very soothing for the beginning. Then it went into some Local natives, Band of Horses, Iron & Wine and then Ben Fold's Gracie comes on and the midwife says here's the head, one more push and she's out...the nurses and midwife noticed the lyrics to the song and knew I was naming my baby Grace...they were freaking out..."OH MY GOD, IS SHE REALLY GOING T BORN TO THIS SONG??? This is INCREDIBLE!" Well, she started coming out during Gracie but wasn't fully out until Ben Fold's Jesusland (another great song!). It was pretty magical. It felt like a dream. They put her on my chest and I thought to myself, this can't be real, she's not all juicy and bloody and doesn't have that white vernix stuff they talked about in the birthing classes. She was perfect. She took my breath away & definitely helped take my mind off what my body just did and what it felt like. I still can't get over that she started coming out to Gracie. It was so surreal and I knew in my heart she picked that song. I pushed for one hour and six minutes and that song just happened to be on the playlist at the very moment her little head popped out, she knew what she was doing. Steve and I are blessed. We know a lot of new music will be inspired by our little bundle of love. The songs that played during her actual birth and shortly after in the delivery room: GRACIE, JESUSLAND, MOONRIVER (VINCE GUARALDI TRIO), THE LAST SONG (COREY PARRISH, her uncle), JAKE'S SONG (COREY PARRISH), GRACE (JEFF BUCKLEY), SO REAL (JEFF BUCKLEY), ISN'T SHE LOVELY (STEVIE WONDER), CARGO CULT (KAKI KING)...and many more.

Lyrics to Gracie

You can't fool me, I saw you when you came out
You got your momma's taste but you got my mouth
And you will always have a part of me
Nobody else is ever going to see
Gracie girl

With your cards to your chest walking on your toes
What you got in the box only Gracie knows
And I would never try to make you be
Anything you didn't really want to be
Gracie girl

Life flies by in seconds
You're not a baby Gracie, you're my friend
You'll be a lady soon but until then
You gotta do what I say

You nodded off in my arms watching TV
I won't move you an inch even though my arm's asleep

One day you're gonna want to go
I hope we taught you everything you need to know
Gracie girl

And there will always be a part of me
Nobody else is ever gonna see but you and me
My little girl
My Gracie girl

Fashionably Late... 

I guess Grace will be fashionably late as our due date was yesterday. Looks like we're having a Virgo. Will Labor Day truly be LABOR DAY for me? We'll see...


We gave our guests at the baby shower these awesome eco friendly plantable seed favors. Mike (drummer) planted his and was thoughtful enough to share the progress.


Flowers for Grace

Top Ten List... 

...of things I cannot wait to be able to use, do or eat again once I get this baby out of my belly!

...and in no particular order...

1. Feta Cheese, Blue Cheese & Brie

2. Pilates, Walking, Hiking & My Ellipitical Machine

3. Playing Guitar Comfortably

4. Retinol (Tarte Tinted Moisturizer)

5. Roasted Brown Rice Green Tea

6. Moving Freely & Sleeping Belly Down

7. Cooking

8. Entertaining musically

9. Recording

10. Making Videos

How many more days until I say Bye Bye to baby bump and Hello to Baby Grace?

For real? 

I don't usually blog about mainstream media/music. Someone sent me a picture of Miley Cyrus in a very icky position as a joke and I didn't get it b/c I don't watch trash tv like MTV or VH1. I finally heard about this outrageous performance and I'm about to pop any day, can barely walk around and thought what the hey...I youtubed it. I watched with my jaw on the floor. Words that came to mind were, EW, disgusting, gross, unbelievable, sick and FOR REAL? I am about to give birth to an innocent baby girl and all I can think now is "how will I be able to keep her away from this stuff?" It's easier to control what goes on in my house but what happens when she becomes friends with other kids at school whose parents don't care what their children exposed to? As a teacher, I'd always cringe when one of my 2nd or 3rd graders would want to learn a Rhianna song or worse Nicki Minaj. I couldn't help but judge their parents and wonder why they were allowing their young child to listen to these crazy lyrics that are totally inappropriate for them? I've always thought of myself as this open free spirit but I feel this intense urge to protect Grace from everything and she's not even here yet. Well, I guess the first step is being aware of what's out there instead of completely shutting myself off from it all. I have this tunnel vision mentality where I see what I want and ignore the rest of the world so I can create an environment that is warm, artistic, full of love, enriching and fulfilling. It's simply not going to be that easy anymore. I will be eyes and ears for two and can only hope that Grace will learn to ignore the negativity in the world just like her mama! Now you know why I'm not on facebook. If I had a nickle for every annoying post relating to something that ultimately ended up as a total waste of my time, I'd be a rich gal. Peace.

Almost there... 


I will be 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I only have 3 more doctor apts. after today unless Grace decides to join us earlier. It has been quite a journey. No matter how many stories you hear from other's about their experience, I know now it can never fully prepare you for your own. Just as we are all 100% unique individuals, our experiences follow in the same path. Music (as always) has kept me afloat, sometimes sailing and other times treading water. None the less, keeping my head above water. My belly is too big to enjoy long periods of guitar playing so I took to the piano and I'm glad I had this time to focus on the keys. Though my swollen fingers keep me from spending the hours I'd like to, I've spent more time in the last two months at my piano than I have in the past two years, dabbling in Bruce Hornsby solos, some Chopin, Corey's song Spiderman and some original compositions. I have Grace to thank for that. I've had to turn down quite a few gigs over the last seven or so months. While I miss performing, this was a much needed break. It has given Steve and I a chance to figure out where to go next and more importantly where not to. Speaking of Steve, I could not have asked for a better partner through this pregnancy journey. You often hear women complain about their husbands during this very hormonal time :) I have no complaints. He is a rock keeping me grounded. He has surprised me in so many ways. Not that I had any doubts but he has only reinforced my high opinion of him and love for him. Oh sappy hormones, leave me be! Seriously though, he is going to be an AMAZING father. We look forward to little live bedroom concerts for Grace and witnessing her passions evolve and change and grow. The song Half Myself just crept into my mind. I definitely don't feel half myself anymore. I have new music to share but no time to share it as of right now. When my belly is gone & Grace, Steve and I are settled into this new life we are about to embark on, I will finally be able to release some new videos and mp3s. I did play two of the new songs at my last show in March...Telepathy & Siren, although the Siren video did not quite come out the way I had imagined so I have ye to make it public. The percussive parts which were crucial to the song did not make it through the mic as I intended. When I play the song acoustically, it sounds completely different so it may be time to experiment with extra internal mics. I've tried to keep things as organic as possible until now but I need to research the placement of existing mics and options for additions. Anyway, TELEPATHY is on my youtube channel. My mid morning fade is approaching. I may not blog again until after Grace is born. I have a lot on my plate right now. I'm doing a hypnobirth so now that we're full term Saturday, I'm practicing trance more than ever. Clean, deep relaxation, eat, deep relaxtion, repeat. Cheers til' next time!

My sporadic blog...8 months pregnant & more 

I feel so bad for not blogging more often. I want to keep everyone updated more regularly but so much has been happening and changing in my life, it's not often I'm at a computer, ipad or cel phone very long. I do occasionally upload pictures to instagram so you can find me there under KP1480 or KP MURPHY.

We've been undergoing major construction and remodeling at our home for what seems like months and months. It's been one project after the other but all worth the time and temporary 'uncomfortableness'...kind of like being pregnant! During my second trimester we went through remodeling upstairs to have our dream master bedroom/nursery. It wasn't too fun sleeping on an air mattress in the living room with my baby bump but I have zero complaints about how our new space turned out, especially the most comfortable new king sized bed. The eco friendly memory foam mattress was definitely worth the wait. Shout out to my friend Tim T for helping out with the glider and Grace's cubby station! A lot of reading and relaxing happening in the glider ; ) The music room/office got moved downstairs to our old bedroom and though we don't have the large space we had upstairs, it's pretty nice. Amazing what a fresh coat of paint and new carpet can do for a room.

I will be 34 weeks pregnant on Saturday and we are two weeks into our kitchen remodel. So far, so good. I was so nervous about not having a kitchen while pregnant but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Steve's grillin' up amazing yummy food for me almost every night and eating out is nice too. I can't wait to get cookin' in my new kitchen and not just food. I've been dabbling in making some household/cosmetic things like deodorant, lip balm, all purpose cleaner, etc. Not only am I saving $, more importantly I'm keeping nasty ingredients off me and out of my home which little Gracie will benefit from. It's fun to feel like a scientist for a while ha ha.

I've been playing music, new music, old music, other people's music...though my preggo fingers are swollen, I'm keeping them active! I was thinking of doing some videos but quite honestly I had NO idea how much the third trimester would slow me down. A 90 something year old man literally passed me at the mall. My pace was way too slow for him! I still have a couple videos to release from my Sellersville Theater show back in March so they will have to hold me over until I'm ready and have time to get back out there. I've been playing a TON of piano. I miss playing drums though! We had to pack the kit up and don't have room for it right now. I have a solo guitar album ready to go for next year. It will be 8-10 songs and I can't wait to record this album. I have wanted to do a solo album for so long. There will be piano on it as well and also some ambient layers to the pieces. It's just a seed now but I hope to see it come to life in 2014.

As I write this, Grace is moving like crazy. I guess she's excited too! What a lucky little girl she is. She has had such support and love from so many people and she isn't even here yet. I could never have imagined how many beautiful gifts she would acquire before her grand entrance. Many thanks to all who have been SO incredibly generous to my little angel. We have everything we need and so much more. Steven and I truly appreciate it.

For your eyes...



It really is...

I cannot find the words to express my happiness. We got a beautiful taste of Spring this past week, the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, the temperature was rising and you could smell Spring in the air. I walked everyday and the warmth inspired me so. It was a LOOOOOONG winter this year, it was dull, windy, dreary and grey. I don't think anyone will be missing it.

Aside from the first breath of Spring, Steven and I found out we are having a baby girl yesterday...what an amazing gift. I've always said I felt we'd end up with a daughter. I've had so many dreams over the past couple years in which we had a daughter and at the time I felt them to be intuitive dreams. I also had this little angel named for years! (Grace Izabela Murphy) Now we can finally refer to this baby as HER, not IT & even better, Gracie. When I was first pregnant with her, I wrote her a lullaby, an instrumental guitar piece titled "Full of Grace" and I was relieved that my guess of her being a girl was correct so I could keep that title. It just fit so well. I am literally full of Grace.

I never thought being pregnant would be so fabulous. I write and play daily more now than I have in the past 5 years. And I have time to truly pay attention to detail. My new songs are evolving and they have time to do so...I'm not rushing and preparing for shows and what not. I feel more content musically than I have in a long while. Being pregnant has also brought on such inspiration, I'm constantly dabbling in something new whether it be on guitar or piano...I don't know if it's because I have another life inside me or if it's a combination of that new life inside me & taking more time for myself at home but it's truly a gift.

I played at Sellersville theater with Stanley Jordan in March and there will be video coming out soon of songs from my set. I was 4 months pregnant at the time so someday I will be able to show Gracie the footage and let her know she was inside me for that wonderful experience.

I'm going to have the whole summer off!! I haven't had a summer off since high school. While we will be preparing here for the baby and finishing up a kitchen remodel, master bedroom and office remodel, I will have time and hopefully energy to do a few videos of things I've been working on...I'll also be swimming A LOT : ) So far I've had a very active, pilates, walking, light weights and we just bought an eliptical which I used for the first time today and it was AH-MAZING. I will be stoked to add swimming to my list of activities. I want to be in the best shape both physically and mentally for this birth process.

I also want to record a CD of instrumental lullabies for Grace. Good thing I won't be working so I have time to do all these things! I saw her hands on the ultrasound screen yesterday and I couldn't help but think they may be creating beautiful music someday. I would never push or expect BUT I do plan to expose her to the finest art and music so that even if it ends up not being her path or passion in life, she will have great taste, appreciation and knowledge in the arts.

Cooking has been another pass time of mine lately. I've had time to experiment with new recipes and focus on balanced, healthy meals for Steven and I. When we have our new kitchen, I imagine my cooking ventures will be all the more exciting or at the very least, functional. I have been focused on a diet based on blood type & though I haven't been so strict with it yet, I'm already experiencing positive significant changes. It's really more of a lifestyle that thankfully doesn't differ much from my current food habits. I'm A positive (vegetarian based with certain high quality meats allowed such as chicken & turkey) & it's been so interesting to learn about the history of our ancestors and why they ate what the ate, how it evolved and how it ultimately has affected how our bodies processing food. It's actually pretty me anyway. I've long been obsessed with eating healthy and living a conscious lifestyle all around. I got my first taste of vegetarianism 13 years ago. I learned a lot about healthy eating habits then but what I'm learning now takes it to a whole new level b/c it's so personalized and I've finally found a balanced way of eating. It has put a lot in perspective for me. I've tried pushing Steve into eating all the foods I like and have found beneficial for a long time. His taste buds are so different from mine. It's been a struggle and now with this new knowledge knowing he may be a different blood type (I have a hunch he is O), it all makes sense now. I can't wait for him to find out his type so I can plan our meals with more efficiency.

So much to be grateful for now and so much to look forward to. I feel so blessed and I think a lot of new music will come from this time in my life. I will always be excited to share it with all those interested. Thanks for reading!!!


For your eyes...